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Apr 28, 2009

Postpartum doulas help moms to cope

"Helpful services given after birth to avoid the baby blues."

 

Colette and Paul Pritchard knew they'd have their hands full when they returned home from the hospital with their second baby.

So they hired an extra pair -- the experienced hands of Maria Keirstead, a postpartum doula.

While a birth doula helps parents through pregnancy and birth, a post-partum doula helps new parents and their babies in the first weeks and months after the child is born.

"It's been wonderful," says a smiling, laughing Colette, sitting in the sunny family room of their Beaumont home with Maria and two-week-old Adrian.

"I wish I had known about her before.

"The benefit is getting some sleep and not worrying that the baby is going to wake up and I won't hear him. And she's been there a lot for emotional support."

When Colette's first son, Grant, was born four years ago, the new mom was overwhelmed.

She had trouble breastfeeding and was getting little sleep. She began to get dragged down by the "baby blues," she says. Her own parents are older and were unable to help much with the newborn, and Paul's parents live far away.

"That put a lot of burden on Colette," recalls Paul. "And that post-partum depression is a sneaky thing. It just creeps up on you." This time, Paul was determined to be more prepared.

"I wasn't aware of the depression that women can suffer because it isn't talked about that much," he adds.

He read books, looked online and found the Doula Association of Edmonton. Through them, he found Keirstead.

Some of her clients, like the Pritchards, have other children and need extra help to keep their busy households running. Others are first-time parents who appreciate her advice and guidance on caring for a newborn.

"We're really there to help the family get a good start," says Keirstead. "We're not there to take over. We're not a nanny and we're not a nurse, but at the same time, we're not there to be their maid."

Keirstead has done everything from helping Colette with Adrian's first bath to folding laundry -- anything to help the new mom take better care of herself and her new baby

When Colette headed out shopping for the first time since Adrian's birth, Keirstead came along for support. When Grant had questions about the new baby's behaviour (like, why does he cry so much?) Keirstead helped answer them.

"She's been a lifesaver," says Colette. "She's there to help you, to listen, which is what I need. And I'm not worried about being judged."

Postpartum doulas are like the modern-day version of the baby nurses of old, hired by mothers to help in those first, sleep-deprived, trying weeks and months of new parenthood.

It's a small but growing specialty, says Megan Lalonde, co-chair of the Doula Association of Edmonton. The group's certifying body, Doulas of North America, lists only about two dozen certified, postpartum doulas in all of Canada.

But many more have taken the specialized training and haven't yet applied for official certification, or have birth-doula training and will do post-partum work as well, says Lalonde.

"There's definitely a need for new families to have extra help," she adds. "I think there's more recognition of how challenging the postpartum period can be." Keirstead says there is a huge demand in the Edmonton area for the kinds of services she provides. Postpartum doulas typically charge $20 to $30 an hour.

Virtually all new parents in the region get free help from the province's Healthy Beginnings program, which has baby nurses who phone and visit the home in the days after a new baby is born and who are available by phone to answer questions and provide referrals to other agencies.

But some families want, or need, extra support, says Keirstead. For more information, go to edmontondoula.org or dona.org

Today's new mothers are more likely to live away from extended family, who traditionally have helped out when babies are born. Some women have been busy with careers or have moved here more recently and don't have large networks of friends to help them. Fathers may be working out of town or unable to take time off work.

Keirstead helps as many families as she can, but her schedule is limited by the needs of her own five children. Usually, her services are offered for a few weeks or months postpartum, but she has helped families for longer periods, particularly if they have special-needs children or are hampered by postpartum depression.

Apr 16, 2009

Elimination Communication

Can Infants Really Be Potty Trained?

Elizabeth Parise of Concord, Mass., is mother to six, so to say she has her hands full is probably an understatement. But this mom also has found the time and commitment to essentially "potty train" the youngest three children from birth, in a method called Elimination Communication.

"When I first heard about Elimination Communication (EC), my first thought was that it would fit well with my parenting style," Parise says. "I already had three children and I was pregnant with my fourth and had always practiced natural or attachment parenting. I breastfed, co-slept, carried my babies in slings and other carriers, and I thought EC would fit right in. I especially thought it made sense because I breastfed 'on cue,' now I could potty 'on cue,' too. This meant that just like I fed my babies when they showed signs of hunger I also offered the potty when I noticed signs of needing to eliminate."

To read more of this article... Click here

Diaper Free Baby

DiaperFreeBaby Ontario is hosting a Potluck Picnic in the Park on 
Sunday, June 7, 2009, in Toronto. Everyone is welcome!

Date: Sunday, June 7, 2009
Time: 12 - 2 pm
Rain venue: none
Place: Dufferin Grove Park - East side of Dufferin St., just south 
of Bloor, across the street from Dufferin Mall. We will meet at the 
main firepit, in the centre of the park.
Food: Potluck - bring something to share

Take the DiaperFreeChallenge!

The DiaperFreeChallenge is inspired by the phrase "I tried it and I 
was hooked". For many people "trying is believing". So, we are "challenging" parents and other caregivers to try Elimination Communication (EC) for just one day. For those already ECing the 
"challenge" is to pick a day to let your child go completely 
diaper-free- if you haven't already. Others not ready to "take the 
plunge" will be "challenged" to find out more by attending our potluck picnic!

http://diaperfreebaby.org/>http://diaperfreebaby.org/
http://diaperfreechallenge.org/

For more information, please email:
carol_7301 at <http://yahoo.ca/>yahoo.ca or claritee at 
http://gmail.com/>gmail.com

Faith in student pays off

"Boy succeeds beyond expectations after school saw potential and mobilized support."

David Burke's school life started to turn around the day an educator looked into his eyes and saw promise. Until that moment in Grade 6, on his first day at Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic School in Scarborough, his experience had been painful.

He was the kid with a learning disability who struggled to read. He was the student who needed constant one-on-one help to do his school work. He floundered in a system that didn't recognize his creativity, determination and generous spirit, or accommodate his learning style.

David arrived at his new school three years ago with a thick file listing all his challenges, recalls his mother, Nicole Bourassa-Burke. The principal took one look at all the paperwork "and was determined to help David succeed."

The school applied for funding to get him a computer that would help him read and write so he could follow the curriculum. The boy soon discovered he loved history.

As David mastered his new equipment, teachers spotted his talent for technology. They set up a student tech team and put him on it. In short order, David was helping other kids learn on their computers, setting up interactive SmartBoards for teachers to use in classrooms and laptops for assembly presentations and overseeing photography and videos of school events. He became the school's go-to guy for all things digital.

Last year, in Grade 8, he was head of the tech team. Realizing that soon he would be off to high school, he set about training other kids to take over the reins.

David's special education teacher, Elyn Catli, nominated him for an award from the Toronto chapter of the Council for Exceptional Children, which advocates for kids with special needs. In her nomination letter, Catli noted that technology opened the door for a child who had "been silenced in class" with no outlet to demonstrate his learning.

"His achievements in technology have enabled him to express himself and give back to the community by his generous and selfless way of sharing," she wrote in the nomination letter, now framed on David's bedroom wall.

His contributions to the school "will be felt long after he graduates."

Last spring, David was presented with the council's "Yes I Can" award at a dinner at the National Yacht Club. In the fall, he received the council's provincial award at a lunch in London.

"It felt pretty good that I'd been nominated," says David, now 14 and in Grade 9 at Neil McNeil Catholic Secondary School. "It was good to feel appreciated."

Most parents know that one teacher can change a child's life. David had several.

"In this school, we try to identify a child's needs and strengths and work with that," says Tonya Williams, his classroom teacher in Grades 6 and 8.

The public school system can get caught up in red tape and the formal processes of assessing and diagnosing problems. Williams says her school's support team – which includes teachers, the principal and a school psychologist – tries to be proactive and also offers clubs and teams that allow kids to shine and learn new skills.

"We don't have to wait for (formal) identifications in order to help a child," she says.

While building on a student's strengths makes sense, a growing number of education advocates and psychologists worry that the process of qualifying for special ed support is too focused on identifying deficits.

They argue that creating resilient kids requires looking at the whole child and helping each understand and value his or her own particular learning style and talents.

To Bourassa-Burke, the dividends of that approach have been enormous for her son.

"They got a child with huge, huge difficulties and said, `Let's do the best we can for him.' He just blossomed under that and, in response, he gave back."

School is still tough for David but, with the help of assistive technology, he says he enjoys it.

"The most important thing about this is I think it has turned him into a lifelong learner," his mother says. "He wants to learn and he's not afraid to try."

Toronto Star

Cut: Slicing Through the Myths of Circumcision

The critically acclaimed documentary on male circumcision by Chicago filmmaker Eli Ungar-Sargon. For the unabridged version, please buy the DVD at: www.CutTheFilm.com

Apr 4, 2009

The Audacity of Help

The Audacity of Help
By Shanna Brewton-Tiayon


What's faster than the speed of light? The stride of a working mother trying to accomplish a two page to-do list during a half-hour lunch break. What is the best tag-team collaboration around? The mother and father duo, attempting to balance a full-time job, extracurricular activities for the children, family time, church, and, oh yeah, household chores.

This was my reality growing up in Hampton, Virginia, in the 1980s and '90s. As an adolescent and eventually a college-bound teenager, all of what I amassed to file under the how to be a good parent category of my mental library was discovered and learned in the Tidewater area. I grew up as a typical overly socialized child with a mile-long activity list, but with no alternative logistical resources, except my mother. I became used to my mother—a single parent wearing multiple hats at once, with no complaints or requests for breaks. My life was full; I was happy. What I didn't know was that my mom was overwhelmed and very tired...

Apr 1, 2009

Effect of food intake during labour on obstetric outcome: randomised controlled trial

This is a new study in the British Medical Journal to investigate the effect of feeding during labour on obstetric and neonatal outcomes... the findings are remarkable.

The HypnoBirthing® Experience.

HypnoBirthing® is as much a philosophy of birth as it is a technique for achieving a satisfying, relaxing, and stress-free method of birthing. This amazing program teaches you, along with your birthing companion, the art and joy of experiencing birth in a more comfortable manner. You will learn how to call upon your body’s own natural relaxant and thus lessen, or even eliminate discomfort and the need for medication. When a woman is properly prepared for childbirth and when mind and body are in harmony, Nature is free to function in the same well-designed manner that it does with all animal mothers in Nature.

You will be fascinated as you view HypnoBirthing® films, showing labouring mothers, awake, alert and in good humour as they experience the kind of gentle birth that you, too, can know when you are free of the fear that causes pain and tension. Through self-hypnosis, special breathing, and visualization, HypnoBirthing® teaches you to release all prior programming about birth, how to trust your body and work with it, as well as how to free yourself of harmful emotions that lead to pain-causing fear and unyielding muscles.

You will learn the art of using your own natural birthing instincts. With HypnoBirthing®, you will not be in a trance or a sleep state. You will be aware and fully in control, but profoundly relaxed.

HypnoBirthing® Advantages
 Teaches deep levels of relaxation to eliminate the fear that causes tension and, thus, pain.

 Greatly reduces and often eliminates the need for chemical painkillers and drugs.

 Shortens the first phase of labour.

 Leaves mother alert, fresh, awake and with energy.

 Helps keep oxygen supplied to baby during birthing.

 Reduces the need for an episiotomy

 Reduces and often eliminates fatigue during labour.

 Empowers parents with techniques to achieve a gentle, calm birth for themselves and their baby.

 Gives the birthing companion an integral role in the birthing.

 Embraces the concept of pre-birth parenting.

 Teaches breathing techniques that allow a woman to gently breathe her baby into the world without the violence of hard, physical pushing.

This unique prenatal series is being offered at:

Becoming Maternity April 26th-May 31st (with a 2 week break between May 11th and May18th for Mother's Day and Victoria Day). Couples can register with Becoming.

The JCC with Baby and Me Fitness (couples can register with B & M Fit) April 22nd-May 20th.

Please contact Amanda Burke for more details: amandaburke@rogers.com

Have something to say? Question to ask? Something to submit? I'd love to hear from you.

Welcome to Mama Sayana Doula support. I started this blog as a way to provide real, unedited information about pregnancy and birth to pregnant mothers and couples.
The true heart of this blog lies in the stories and pictures submitted by you.
Please feel free to visit often and post your comments.

Happy blogging.

Mar 9, 2009

A Midwife Crisis

" Not enough doctors, not enough midwives: it’s a bad time to have a baby in Canada."

More and more pregnant woman are having a hard time finding a clinic that will take them for midwifery care.

Because there are only 400 registered midwives to serve the entire province, savvy mothers-to-be have taken to “strategizing” to secure a coveted spot... conitinue reading article

Feb 27, 2009

Tracking Certain Hormone Levels May Help With Postpartum Depression

Researchers at the University of California, Irvine (Yim et al., 2009) studied 100 women and found that 12 of 16 participants with postpartum depression also had high levels of corticotrophin-releasing hormone, or CRH.

View Abstract

View News item

Breastfeeding Cuts Baby Girls’ Pneumonia Risk

A study of babies in Buenos Aires, Argentina, conducted by Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee (2009), indicates that girl babies who are breastfed are least likely to contract pneumonia than boy babies.

Read News Item

Feb 19, 2009

Midwives Changing the World.

An 81 year old grandmother runs one of the most successful birthing clinics in the nation in the city with the worst infant mortality rate.

Beating The Odds Video

How to Massage a Baby

In this video Kathy Moore gives you a 'fun and relaxing way to bond with your baby. Enjoy!

View Video

What Causes Uterine Fibroids?

Uterine Fibroids are tumors (i.e. swellings) of the uterine wall that are
almost always benign. They are extremely common being present in up to 40%
of women at the time of death. Just being present does not mean they cause
any problems for the woman.

The types of problems they can cause include:
bleeding problems
pain or pressure problems
problems from being so big they take up too much room in the abdomen and press on
other organs
infertility and pregnancy problems

Fibroids occur where muscle cells grow into an abnormal ball of cells that
feel like gristle in the muscle of the uterus. They start as a single cell
and can grow to the size of a full term pregnancy. There can be a single
fibroid or multiple fibroids. They can be located in different areas of the
uterus, each with different significance to the patient.

The natural history of fibroids helps us to understand our holistic
treatment protocol. Fibroids feed off estrogen hormone and tend to grow very
slowly over time. At menopause, when estrogen is very low, fibroid tumors
stop growing and sometimes reduce in size. They rarely, if ever, go away.
Thus our holistic protocol includes many things to reduce this estrogen
effect. Many of these options are based on good medical common sense, not
medical studies. This is because most of these therapies have not been
formally studied relative to fibroids.

Many tools are available in addressing fibroid tumors. For most women, a
holistic protocol can reduce symptoms and slow fibroid growth.
Fibroids completely dissolving and going away is a very unusual thing to
happen in my practice of holistic medicine.

To properly institute a holistic protocol, you should first be evaluated by
a holistic physician. Exactly what is recommended to you depends on your
specific individual situation. It depends on your age and fertility desires,
the size and number of your fibroid tumors, the location of your fibroids
and the symptoms they are causing you. Any treatment protocol should be
tailored to the individual woman's situation.

Feb 17, 2009

"How will I know when it's truly labour?"

Usually, childbirth educators and practitioners try to ease your mind with the standard answer of, 'You'll know.'

And while you will know, it's nice to have some ideas a head of time of how to know if this is really labour.

First of all your body normally gives you some signs of labour a head of time that labour is on its way. While these are signs of progress the do not mean that you will go into labour within a few hours or days. They are simply a means of saying that your body is getting ready to give birth.

Some of these signs of labour include:

A sudden burst of energy or the "nesting instinct"
Lightening or Dropping of the baby (you may be able to breathe easier and urinate more)
An upset stomach
Diarrhea
Bloody show (this may be the cervix beginning to open, or from sex or a vaginal exam)
Loss of your mucous plug (may come out in a chunk or you may just notice it slowly over a couple of days)
Weight loss
Slight increase in blood pressure
Increase in practice contractions (Braxton Hicks Contractions)
Some women notice these symptoms and while others do not, either way is perfectly normal. You should not worry if you do not notice these signs. Your body is simply preparing in a different manner. They may also change from baby to baby, so what you experienced the first time may not happen the second time.

Rupture of Membranes (Water Breaking)

Sometimes labour begins with the bag of waters or membranes rupture, about 12% of the time. However, 75% of the time this does not happen until very late in labour, usually after 9 centimeters. If your water breaks you may notice a near constant trickle of fluid from the vagina or a sudden gush. You should talk to your practitioner about when to call about your waters breaking before you reach the end of your pregnancy, but you should definitely notify them if you experience the following:

Fluid is not clear, but green or brownish
You have a fever
You feel something pulsing in the vagina (If you feel this put your knees to your chest on the floor and call 911, you may have a prolapsed cord.)
It is important to not place anything inside the vagina after your water has broken, so avoid: intercourse, baths, and vaginal exams.

Getting to the Place of Birth too early

Some women will make trips to the hospital or birth center, believing they are in labour, only to be sent home. This is nothing to be worried about. It can happen to anyone, no matter how many children that you've had.

Sometimes you've just gotten there and you aren't as dilated or as far along as you thought. Most of the time you can go home to labour more in comfort and return after the contractions have picked up.

Everyone experiences labor in a different manner. What you experience may be totally different from what you have read about. Trust your body. This preparation may seem to take forever, but your body and baby are making very important changes in preparation for the birth!

Remember, that technically, true labour ends with the birth of the baby. That is the one sure fire test of real labour.


False Labour

Contractions don't get closer together.
Contractions don't get stronger.
Contractions tend to be felt only in the front.
Contractions don't last longer.
Walking has no effect on the contractions.
Cervix doesn't change with contractions.

True Labour
Contractions do get closer together.
Contractions do get stronger.
Contractions tend to be felt all over.
Contractions do last longer.
Walking makes the contractions stronger.
Cervix opens and thins with contractions.

Nov 13, 2008

Baby You're Home


By JULIE SCELFO
Published: November 12, 2008

Alecia White Scharback between contractions, surrounded at home by her mother, Judith Deierling White; her sister, Amanda White; and her husband, Joshua Scharback, before giving birth to Noah with the aid of a midwife.

SQUATTING in an inflatable pool in the open kitchen of her apartment in Astoria, Queens, a very pregnant Alecia White Scharback, nude except for a bathing suit top, groaned in pain. It was 7:30 a.m. on Nov. 1, and Mrs. Scharback, 29, an actress, had been in labor for more than 36 hours. The contractions had been only mildly painful at first, but had grown increasingly fierce as a second night gave way to morning.

Read More

Oct 14, 2008

A Mother's Final Look at Life




In Impoverished Sierra Leone, Childbirth Carries Deadly Odds.

Sierra Leone has the highest rate of maternal mortality in the world. Hospitals lack basic equipment and medication, and factors such as poverty and lack of transportation make every pregnancy a gamble.

The Washington Post
Sunday, October 12, 2008; Page A01

FREETOWN, Sierra Leone -- Fatmata Jalloh's body lay on a rusting metal gurney in a damp hospital ward, a scrap of paper with her name and "R.I.P." taped to her stomach. In the soft light of a single candle -- the power was out again in one of Africa's poorest cities -- Jalloh looked like a sleeping teenager. Dead just 15 minutes, the 18-year-old's face was round and serene, with freckles around her closed eyes and her full lips frozen in a sad pucker.

This Story

Her bare feet stuck out from the colorful cloths in which she had been wrapped by the maternity nurses who had tried to save her life. Her toenails bore the chipped remnants of cheery red polish.

In the dark hallway, her sisters and friends hugged and wailed, "Fatmata! Fatmata!" in a tearful song of grief.

Eight hours earlier, Jalloh delivered her first child: a healthy baby boy. Her official cause of death was postpartum hemorrhaging. She bled to death giving birth in a part of the world where every pregnancy is a gamble.

More than 500,000 women a year -- about one every minute -- die in childbirth across the globe, almost exclusively in the developing world, and almost always from causes preventable with basic medical care. The planet's worst rates are in this startlingly poor nation on West Africa's Atlantic coast, where a decade of civil war that ended in 2002 deepened chronic deprivation.

According to the United Nations, a woman's chance of dying in childbirth in the United States is 1 in 4,800. In Ireland, which has the best rate in the world, it is 1 in 48,000. In Sierra Leone, it is 1 in 8.

Maternal mortality rarely gets attention from international donors, who are far more focused on global health threats such as malaria, tuberculosis and HIV-AIDS. "Maternal death is an almost invisible death," said Thoraya A. Obaid, executive director of the U.N. Population Fund.

The women die from bleeding, infection, obstructed labor and preeclampsia, or pregnancy-induced high blood pressure. But often the underlying cause is simply life in poor countries: Governments don't provide enough decent hospitals or doctors; families can't afford medications.

A lack of education and horrible roads cause women to make unwise health choices, so that they often prefer the dirt floor of home to deliveries at the hands of a qualified stranger at a distant hospital.

Women die in childbirth every day, according to people who study the issue, because of cultures and traditions that place more worth on the lives of men. "It really reflects the way women are not valued in many societies," said Betsy McCallon of the White Ribbon Alliance for Safe Motherhood, one of the few groups that advocates to reduce deaths in childbirth. "But there is not that sense of demand that this is unacceptable, so it continues to happen."

...continue reading


Natural Remedies

The theme of Midwifery Today Issue 87 is Natural Remedies. With technology and pharmaceutical remedies having taken over birth, natural remedies are often forgotten. In this issue we share a variety of natural remedies that can help make birth better. Included are herbs, chiropractic, humor, naturopathy, homeopathy and massage. As an added bonus, this issue also contains a thought-provoking article by Michel Odent on the origins of the language of birth and the negative impact such words can have on women.

  • Naturopathic Modalities—Their Role in Achieving Positive Birth Outcomes, by Lisa Doran and Nora Pope. Naturopathic medicine and midwifery go hand in hand, and some naturopaths are going on to obtain the specialized designation of naturopathic midwife. This article also covers the principles behind naturopathic midwifery.

http://www.midwiferytoday.com/magazine/issue87.asp

Do we have choice in childbirth?

The theme of Midwifery Today Issue 86 is Choice in Childbirth. Do we have choice in childbirth? When is a choice not really a choice? How do obstetricians and midwives control women's choices by the way they explain things? How can we help to preserve choice and make sure women are properly informed?

Working with Your Naturopathic Doctor in Perinatal Care—Our Philosophy: A Meeting of the Minds between Midwifery and Naturopathic Medicine, by Lisa Doran and Nora Pope. Two doctors of naturopathy enlighten the reader on the basis of naturopathy and why it works so well with midwifery.

http://www.midwiferytoday.com/magazine/issue86.asp

A Message of Thanks

This message was sent to me from a fellow member of a community health & wellness holistic group. I would also like to extend this note as a form of gratitude to my wonderful Doula sisters, and to all the awesome birth professionals who continue to shine.

Mama Sayana

"The light seems to be getting brighter and brighter as we form ourselves into a tightly knit organically bound eclectic group of holistic practitioners, wellness professionals and health inspired individuals. Each one of us has carried our version of the same message from within to without as we share outwards with what has been kindled inwards. This light grows much brighter as we raise each others consciousness, and we become less independent and no longer bound by what Aldous Huxley described as "island universes of our own doing." We are bridging the gaps of darkness with the embers of our past experiences, and with the energy of the others that surround us with the same notions; those embers become the catalyst for our even brighter futures.

I want to thank all of you for doing the work that you do. The ceaseless self improvement by letting go of self deceiving parts of your ego, the balanced lifestyles, the caring for others, and the practice of eating right and not giving in to the norm is a difficult process to say the least. Just realize that the others that are watching you from your own communities; see you as a leader, and many may try to be adversarial to your beliefs. Hear them out, as they may contain a message for you to reflect upon, but when all is said and done-continue upon your path-because the work that you are doing is that of healing. It is one based in creation, and creation has no place sarcasm, avoidance, and deception. You become the fabric of society that brings back the humanity to being human; you are being humane. There will be many interesting twists and turns, but with a network such as ours; you can always find a mentor that has been down a similar path.

Thank you for your continued efforts, your support, and the role you have played in making this world more wonderful."

-Eco Urban Shaman

Clear Light Toronto upcoming events

The Spiritual Practice of Parenting

Our children can be our most challenging and deeply loving teachers. Experience how the daily acts of caring for your family can be the path to profound spiritual understanding and bliss.

Since you shouldn’t miss out on enlightenment because you had to take your child to a swim lesson or birthday party, this workshop will be offered twice!

Sat Oct 25 from 2:30-4:30
at Yoga Queen - 1273A Queen St W, at Dufferin

Sun Oct 26 from 1-3
at With Child - 705 Pape Ave, at Danforth

About the Teacher: Cliff Spencer is a father, furniture maker, independent business owner, and experienced Buddhist practitioner. He is a graduate of the Asian Classics Institute and a student of Venerable Sumati Marut. With Lama Marut and others, he founded ACI-LA and The Mahasukha Center in Los Angeles, where he teaches Dharma, meditation, and Buddhist Debate.

By donation - $25 suggested. Each class is limited to 15 people. To register email clearlight.toronto@yahoo.ca. Children welcome. Parents will be responsible for attending to their own children as child care will not be provided.

Yoga and The Voice

A shout out for our very own Dawn Bailey, who will be teaching Yoga and The Voice at The Union Yoga Centre on Sat Oct 18 from 2-4 pm.

Uniting the two sacred arts of yoga and singing - a workshop for Singers and Yogis. Beginners to yoga and/or singing welcome.

Free your voice with yoga! Discover how yoga can help to free your body and focus your mind, how singing can help to open your energetic channels, and how uniting them both can bring more joy into your life. Dawn Bailey is a classically trained soprano and a certified Jivamukti yoga teacher. She will lead you through a sequence of yoga asanas specially designed to help you feel grounded and spacious, to open your energetic channels, and to allow your voice to resonate more freely. This will be followed by vocalization and chanting.

This workshop is for you if you:
- are a singer or musician looking towards yoga to open up new possibilities for your self-expression and art
- are involved in a profession such as teaching in which you use your speaking voice a lot
- are a yogi who would like to delve deeper into your practice of yoga by freeing your voice
- have always wanted to sing but feel that you are tone deaf or unable to sing
- are a yoga teacher who would like to feel more comfortable leading chants during yoga classes

This is not a Clear Light Toronto presentation, but we like to spread the word! If you know of an event that you think should be on our website, email us at clearlight.toronto@yahoo.ca.

The Union Yoga Centre. 242 Carlton St at Parliament. Cost is $30.

Ending Depression, with Cliff Spencer

 Sat Oct 25 from 7-9pm

at The Carrot Common
348 Danforth Ave

2nd floor, entrance beside Book City

Since the Buddha said life is suffering, what would he have to say about depression? In a world with plentiful wealth and amenities, why is depression and medication to keep us happy so commonplace? Hear a personal experience with depression and how Buddhism played a significant part in the recovery of one person trying to stay happy.

About the teacher: Cliff Spencer is a graduate of the Asian Classics Institute and a student of Venerable Sumati Marut. With Lama Marut and others, he founded ACI-LA and The Mahasukha Center in Los Angeles, where he teaches Dharma, meditation, and Buddhist Debate.

Emptiness, Discipline & Happiness - a talk with Cliff Spencer

Emptiness, Discipline & Happiness: Mahayana Lojong
Fri Oct 24 at 7:30-9pm

at The Snow Lion - 708 Pape Ave
at Danforth Ave, across the street from the Pape TTC station

Join us in Toronto’s renowned Dharma bookstore for a talk on what a bodhisattva looks like, combining wisdom and ethics to project the mind of enlightenment that seeks, one-pointedly, to help all beings. This talk is based on verses from Master Shantideva’s Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life. Cliff will cover the basics of emptiness and karma, how it relates to lojong compassion practice, and how this is all attainable in this lifetime.

Cost: Dana/by donation (according to your means)
*Please arrive early as the doors will be closing at 7:30pm (no admittance after doors close)
Co-presented with The Snow Lion as part of their ongoing Discipline and Freedom Lecture Series

About the teacher: Cliff Spencer is a graduate of the Asian Classics Institute and a student of Venerable Sumati Marut. With Lama Marut and others, he founded ACI-LA and The Mahasukha Center in Los Angeles, where he teaches Dharma, meditation, and Buddhist Debate.

Oct 9, 2008

Baby Carrots sold in the Supermarkets

The following is information from a farmer who grows and packages carrots for IGA, METRO, LOBLAW'S, etc.

The small cocktail (baby) carrots you buy in small plastic bags are made using the larger crooked or deformed carrots which are put through a
machine which cuts and shapes them into cocktail carrots . most people probably know this already.

What you may not know and should know is the following: once the carrots are cut and shaped into cocktail carrots they are dipped in a solution
of water and chlorine in order to preserve them (this is the same chlorine used in your pool) since they do not have their skin or natural
protective covering, they give them a higher dose of chlorine. You will notice that once you keep these carrots in your refrigerator
for a few days, a white covering will form on the carrots, this is the chlorine which resurfaces. At what cost do we put our health at risk to
have aesthetically pleasing vegetables which are practically plastic?

We do hope that this information can be passed on to as many people as possible in the hopes of informing them where these carrots come from
and how they are processed. Chlorine is a very well known carcinogen.

Oct 3, 2008

Carrying My Baby African Style

You saw me today at the zoo with my baby girl strapped snugly on my back and you were so fascinated by the concept that you stopped me and questioned me at length. You just stared and marveled. The baby looked so happy, so content, so peaceful, and so secure. How could that be?

And I looked so comfortable too, walking so freely with a 20-pound baby on my back. My hands were free to so whatever I pleased, plus it was so easy on my back. I was constantly moving, so the baby was lulled to sleep by the movement. She could not see my face, but she could hear my voice and feel my body. She knew who was carrying her, and there was not a peep out of her for the three or so hours we spent at the zoo. I only flipped her deftly off my back to nurse briefly, and then back on the back she went!

You wanted to know how it was done. You had tried it, at home, you said and it didn't work. It was awkward; it was uncomfortable for both you and your son. You just did not get it right! You would love to be able to have this peaceful situation as you cook and do some light housework, so you can keep him with you if he frets. I tried explain with words how it is done, but really, I did not learn it that way either. Passed down by generations of African women who had to do it that way to keep their babies with them as they worked on the farm, traded in the market place or did their chores, it is a method I never had formal lessons in learning to do it. One may need a little help with one's first born but only because the baby is so tiny you don't want to fling him unaided on your back. After that it just came naturally. Instinctively, yes, but probably more from observing.

What kind of fabric should you use? You asked. Well, traditionally we (Yoruba women) wear buba and iro, usually a cotton top with coordinating wrapper. My wrapper is a pretty two-meter length of cotton that cost me about ! The wrapper is used to wrap the baby who is then further secured with a sash (oja). The oja is often very ornate and very sturdy. I crocheted myself a sober grey one and it works very well!

We chatted about how weird it looked to the average westerner, to see me going about with a baby strapped on my back and how I deal with the stares and the questions. I told you a woman carrying her baby in front where I come from would look pretentious and silly. What, no free hands? How would she bend over, sweep the floor, do the dishes, cook, clean with the baby in front! But it is really just a cultural difference. I loved carrying my baby in front also until my back gave way.

What more can I tell you?

The method is perfect in all kinds of weather. In warm weather, she remains surprisingly cool, and I can add some shade by carrying and umbrella to shield her from the sun. In cold weather, she is snugly warm with body heat.

I think it is the perfect way to carry a baby!

Thank you to Bola Ansa for sharing this story.

African mothers see baby strollers as abhorrent fad Tradition of carrying children upheld; 'they can't sit like lumps'


Nairobi , Kenya -- Irene Wambui can't imagine why anyone would buy a baby stroller. She says she sees it as a cold cage filled with useless rattles, cup holders and mirrored headlights. Imagine children being stuffed into such a contraption and pushed around town like some kind of pet...

Read more

Sep 24, 2008

The HypnoBirthing Experience?

HypnoBirthing® is as much a philosophy of birth as it is a technique for achieving a satisfying, relaxing, and stress-free method of birthing. This amazing program teaches you, along with your birthing companion, the art and joy of experiencing birth in a more comfortable manner. You will learn how to call upon your body’s own natural relaxant and thus lessen, or even eliminate discomfort and the need for medication. When a woman is properly prepared for childbirth and when mind and body are in harmony, Nature is free to function in the same well-designed manner that it does with all animal mothers in Nature.

You will be fascinated as you view HypnoBirthing® films, showing labouring mothers, awake, alert and in good humour as they experience the kind of gentle birth that you, too, can know when you are free of the fear that causes pain and tension. Through self-hypnosis, special breathing, and visualization, HypnoBirthing® teaches you to release all prior programming about birth, how to trust your body and work with it, as well as how to free yourself of harmful emotions that lead to pain-causing fear and unyielding muscles.

You will learn the art of using your own natural birthing instincts. With HypnoBirthing®, you will not be in a trance or a sleep state. You will be aware and fully in control, but profoundly relaxed.

HypnoBirthing® Advantages
 Teaches deep levels of relaxation to eliminate the fear that causes tension and, thus, pain.

 Greatly reduces and often eliminates the need for chemical painkillers and drugs.

 Shortens the first phase of labour.

 Leaves mother alert, fresh, awake and with energy.

 Helps keep oxygen supplied to baby during birthing.

 Reduces the need for an episiotomy

 Reduces and often eliminates fatigue during labour.

 Empowers parents with techniques to achieve a gentle, calm birth for themselves and their baby.

 Gives the birthing companion an integral role in the birthing.

 Embraces the concept of pre-birth parenting.

 Teaches breathing techniques that allow a woman to gently breathe her baby into the world without the violence of hard, physical pushing.

This unique prenatal series is being offered at:

Becoming Maternity April 26th-May 31st (with a 2 week break between May 11th and May18th for Mother's Day and Victoria Day). Couples can register with Becoming.

The JCC with Baby and Me Fitness (couples can register with B & M Fit) April 22nd-May 20th.

Please contact Amanda Burke for more details: amandaburke@rogers.com

Sep 22, 2008

Free Pregnancy Massage Therapy!

Posted on behalf of Trimesters: Massage Therapy Education & The Canadian College of Massage & Hydrotherapy:

Greetings to you all and happy fall!

Trimesters: Massage Therapy Education & The Canadian College of Massage & Hydrotherapy

PRESENTS FREE PREGNANCY MASSAGE THERAPY

Sunday, Sept. 21st, 2008
1.30 - 3.00 p.m.
Location: Canadian College of Massage & Hydrotherapy (Finch West and Dufferin)

This program is part of a supervised clinical training program for Massage Therapists in professional practice & Massage Therapy Students in their final year of training.

Interested women who are 14 - 42 weeks pregnant can contact the Canadian College of Massage & Hydrotherapy (C.C.M.H.) at 416-736-4576 ext. 4 to register or for more information.

The moon goddess yoga series – I’m not psycho. I’m cyclical. Period.

The moon goddess yoga series – I’m not psycho. I’m cyclical. Period.

The objective of the course is to learn how your cycle can actually be an asset in your life rather than a liability!

The moon goddess series is also a great way to prepare your mind, body and spirit for any
female reproductive milestone: whether pregnancy or menopause. Yoga goddess’ Zahra Haji shows you how to gain freedom from cyclical distress such as pms,menstrual discomfort, mood swings and infertility by optimizing the energy of your cycle throughout the month.

Join the 8-week series at Red Tent Sisters (810 Danforth, East of Pape) and learn how you can
use your cycle to improve your life.

Remember, you’re not psycho. You’re cyclical. Period.

Contact, Zahra Haji at iam@yogagoddess.ca to register.

The begins Tuesday September 23rd from 8pm – 9:30pm. The last class is November 11th.


Promotion: Save $20 when you register with a
friend. Regular price: $179. Includes how to
chart your cycle with the moon dial, weekly
email support, class discussions and a take home yoga & meditation practice.

Sep 11, 2008

The Baby Blues

What are baby blues?

Your baby's birth has set into motion great changes in your body and in your life, and your emotions are reacting in a normal way. Dramatic hormonal shifts occur when a body goes from pregnant to not pregnant in a manner of minutes. Add to this your new title (Mommy!) and the responsibilities that go with it, and your blues are perfectly understandable. You're not alone; this emotional letdown during the first few weeks is common after birth. Just remember that your state of mind has a physical origin and is exacerbated by challenging circumstances and you and your body will adjust to both soon.

How do I know if I have the baby blues?

Every woman who experiences the baby blues (also called postpartum blues) does so in a different way. The most common symptoms include:

  • Anxiety and nervousness
  • Sadness or feelings of loss
  • Stress and tension
  • Impatience or a short temper
  • Bouts of crying or tearfulness
  • Mood swings
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Trouble sleeping or excessive tiredness
  • Not wanting to get dressed, go out, or clean up the house

Could it be more than just the baby blues?

If you're not sure whether you have the blues ask your doctor or midwife, and don't feel embarrassed: This is a question that health care providers hear often and with good reason. If you're feeling these symptoms to a degree that disrupts your normal level of function. If your baby is more than a few weeks old, or if you have additional symptoms. Particularly feelings of resentment or rejection toward your baby or even a temptation to harm him you may have more than the blues, you may have postpartum depression. This is a serious illness that requires immediate treatment. Please call a doctor or professional today. If you can't make the call, then please talk to your partner, your mother or father, a sibling or friend and ask them to arrange for help. Do this for yourself and for your baby. If you can't talk about it, hand this page it to someone close to you. You do not have to feel this way, and safe treatment is available, even if you're breast-feeding.

How can I get rid of the blues?

While typical baby blues are fairly brief and usually disappear on their own, you can do a few things to help yourself feel better and get through the next few emotional days or weeks.

Give yourself time. Grant yourself permission to take the time you need to become a mother. Pregnancy lasts nine months, the adoption process can take even longer, and your baby's actual birth is only a moment, but becoming a mother takes time. Motherhood is an immense responsibility. In my opinion, it is the most overwhelming, meaningful, incredible, transforming experience of a lifetime. No wonder it produces such emotional and physical change!

No other event of this magnitude would ever be taken lightly, so don't feel guilty for treating this time in your life as the very big deal it is. Remind yourself that it's okay (and necessary) to focus on this new aspect of your life and make it your number-one priority. Tending to a newborn properly takes time. So, instead of feeling guilty or conflicted about your new focus, put your heart into getting to know this new little person. The world can wait for a few weeks.

Consider as objectively as you can just what you have accomplished. You have formed a new, entire person inside your own body and brought him forth; you have been party to a miracle. Or, if you've adopted,you've chosen to invite a miracle into your life and became an instant mother. You deserve a break and some space in which to just exist with your amazing little one, unfettered by outside concerns.

Talk to someone who understands. Talk to a sibling, relative or friend with young children about what you are feeling. Someone who has experienced the baby blues can help you realize that they are temporary, and everything will be fine. A confidante can also serve as a checkpoint who can encourage you to seek help if he or she perceives that you need it.

Reach out and get out. Simply getting out (if you are physically able and okayed for this by your health care provider) and connecting with people at large can go a long way toward reorienting your perspective. Four walls can close in very quickly, so change the scenery and head to the mall, the park, the library, a coffeehouse; whatever place you enjoy. You will feel a sense of pride as strangers ooh and ahh over your little one, and your baby will enjoy the stimulation too.

Join a support group. Joining a support group, either in person or online, can help you sort through your feelings about new motherhood. Take care to choose a group that aligns with your core beliefs about parenting a baby. As an example, if you are committed to breastfeeding, but most other members of the group are bottlefeeding, this may not be the best place for you, since your breastfeeding issues won't be understood and you won't find many helpful ideas among this group. If you have multiples, a premature baby, or a baby with special needs, for example, seek out a group for parents with babies like yours. And within those parameters, look for a group with your same overall parenting beliefs. Just because you all have twin babies doesn't mean you will all choose to parent them in the same way, so try to find like-minded new friends.

Tell Daddy what he can do to help. It's very important that your spouse or partner be there for you right now. He may want to help you, but he may be unsure of how. Here are a few things that he can do for you show him this list to help him help you.

  • Understand. It's critical that your spouse or partner feel that you understand that she is going through a hormonally driven depression that she cannot control and that she is not just being grumpy. Tell her you know this is normal, and that she'll be feeling better soon. Simply looking over this list and using some of the ideas will tell her a lot about your commitment to (and belief in) her.
  • Let her talk about her feelings. Knowing she can talk to you about her feelings without being judged or criticized will help her feel much better.
  • Tend to the baby. Taking care of your baby so Mommy can sleep or take a shower can give her a breath of fresh air. Have her nurse the baby and then you can take him for a walk (using a sling will keep Baby happy) or go on an outing. A benefit for you is that most babies love to be out and about and will enjoy this special time with you.
  • Step in to protect her. If she's overwhelmed with visitors, kindly explain to company that she needs a lot of rest. Help her with whatever household duties usually fall to her (or get someone to help her) and do what you can to stay on top of yours. Worry about the house's cleanliness or laundry upkeep will do her no good whatsoever. If relatives offer to take the baby for a few hours, or to help with the house, take them up on it.
  • Tell her she's beautiful. Most woman feel depressed about the way they look after childbirth, because most still look four months pregnant! After changing so greatly to accommodate a baby's development, a woman's body takes months to regain any semblance of normalcy. Be patient with both her body and her feelings about it. Tell her what an amazing thing she's accomplished. Any compliments that acknowledge her unique beauty are sure to be greatly appreciated!
  • Tell her you love the baby. Don't be bashful about gushing over the baby. Mommy loves to hear that you're enraptured with this new little member of your family.
  • Be affectionate, but be patient about sex. With all that she's struggling with physically and emotionally, weeks may pass before she's ready for sex (even if she's had an OK after her checkup.) That doesn't mean she doesn't love you or need you, she just needs a little time to get back to the physical aspects of your sexual relationship.
  • Tell her you love her. Even when she isn't feeling down, she needs to hear this and right now it's more important for her health and well-being than ever.
  • Get support for you, too. Becoming a father is a giant step in your life. Open up to a friend about how it feels to be a Dad, and do things that you enjoy, too. Taking care of yourself will help you take care of your new family.

Accept help from others. Family and friends are often happy to help if you just ask. When people say, Let me know if I can do anything? they usually mean it. So, go ahead and ask kindly for what you want, whether it's watching your baby so that you can nap, taking your older child to the park, helping you make a meal, or doing some laundry.

Get some sleep. Right now, sleeplessness will enhance your feelings of depression. So, take every opportunity to get some shuteye. Nap when the baby sleeps, go to bed early, and sleep in later in the morning if you can. If you are co-sleeping, take advantage of this special time when you don't have to get up out of bed to tend to your baby. And if your baby's sleep patterns are distressing to you then reach out to an experienced parent for help, or check out my book The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night.

Don't fret about perfection right now. Household duties are not your top priority now. In fact, nothing aside from getting to know your baby is. Remember that people are coming to see your baby, not your house, so enjoy sharing your baby with visitors without worrying about a little clutter or dust. Simplify, prioritize, and delegate routine tasks, errands, and obligations.

Enjoy your job. If you work outside the home, then view your time at your job as an opportunity to refresh and prepare yourself to enjoy your baby fully when you are at home. Go ahead, talk about your baby and share pictures with your co-workers. Chances are, they'll love to hear about your new little one. This is a nice and appropriate way of indulging your natural instincts to focus on your baby when you can?t be with her.

Get into exercising. With your health care provider's approval, start exercising with short walks or swims. Exercise will help you feel better in many ways both physical and emotional. Even if you didn't exercise before you had your baby, this is a great time to start. Studies prove that regular exercise helps combat depression, and it will help you regain your pre-baby body much more quickly.

Eat healthful foods. When the body isn't properly nourished, spirits can flag, particularly when the stress of recovery makes more nutritional demands. If you are breastfeeding, a nourishing diet is important for both you and your baby. Healthful foods, eaten in frequent meals, can provide the nutrition you need to combat the baby blues and give you the energy you need to handle your new role. And don't forget to drink water and other healthy fluids, especially if you're nursing! Dehydration can cause fatigue and headaches.

Take care of yourself. Parenting a new baby is an enormous responsibility, but things will fall into place for you and everything will seem easier given time. During this adjustment phase, try to do a few things for yourself. Simple joys like reading a book, painting your nails, going out to lunch with a friend or other ways in which you nourish your spirit can help you feel happier.

Love yourself. You are amazing: You've become mother to a beautiful new baby. You've played a starring role in the production of an incredible miracle. Be proud of what you've accomplished, and take the time to know and enjoy the strong, capable, multifaceted person you are becoming.

This article is a copyrighted excerpt from Gentle Baby Care by Elizabeth Pantley.

How to Have a Happy Marriage When You're Busy Being Parents

Is your marriage everything you ever hoped it could be? Or has it been pushed down your list of priorities since having children? Let's face it, parenthood is a full-time job, and it dramatically changes your marriage relationship. But marriage is the foundation upon which your entire family is structured. If your marriage is strong, your whole family will be strong; your life will be more peaceful, you'll be a better parent, and you'll, quite simply, have more fun in your life.

Make a commitment?

To create or maintain a strong marriage you will have to take the first critical step: You must be willing to put time, effort and thought into nurturing your marriage. The ideas that follow will help you follow through on this commitment and will put new life and meaning into your marriage. A wonderful thing may happen. You may fall in love with your spouse all over again. In addition, your children will greatly benefit from your stronger relationship. Children feel secure when they know that Mom and Dad love each other. Particularly in today's world, where 50 percent of marriages end in divorce; half of your children's friends have gone, or are going through a divorce; or maybe it's your kids who have survived a divorce and are now living in a new family arrangement. Your children need daily proof that their family life is stable and predictable. When you make a commitment to your marriage, your children will feel the difference. No, they won't suffer from neglect! They'll blossom when your marriage and their home-life is thriving.

The surprising secret is that this doesn't have to take any extra time in your already busy schedule. Just a change in attitude plus a committed focus can yield a stronger, happier marriage.

So here's my challenge to you. Read the following suggestions and apply them in your marriage for the next 30 days. Then evaluate your marriage. I guarantee you'll both be happier.

Look for the good, overlook the bad

You married this person for many good reasons. Your partner has many wonderful qualities. Your first step in adding sizzle to your marriage is to look for the good and overlook the bad.

Make it a habit to ignore the little annoying things dirty socks on the floor, a day-old coffee cup on the counter, worn out flannel pajamas, an inelegant burp at the dinner table and choose instead to search for those things that make you smile: the way he rolls on the floor with the baby; the fact that she made your favorite cookies, the peace in knowing someone so well that you can wear your worn out flannels or burp at the table.

Give two compliments every day

Now that you've committed to seeing the good in your partner, it's time to say it! This is a golden key to your mate's heart. Our world is so full of negative input, and we so rarely get compliments from other people. When we do get a compliment, it not only makes us feel great about ourselves, it actually makes us feel great about the person giving the compliment! Think about it! When your honey says, You're the best. I'm so glad I married you. It not only makes you feel loved, it makes you feel more loving.

Compliments are easy to give, take such a little bit of time, and they're free. Compliments are powerful; you just have to make the effort to say them. Anything works: Dinner was great, you make my favorite sauce.Thanks for picking up the cleaning. It was very thoughtful, you saved me a trip. That sweater looks great on you.

Play nice

That may sound funny to you, but think about it. How many times do you see -- or experience -- partners treating each other in impolite, harsh ways that they'd never even treat a friend. Sometimes we take our partners for granted and unintentionally display rudeness. As the saying goes, if you have a choice between being right and being nice, just choose to be nice. Or to put this in the wise words of Bambi's friend Thumper, the bunny rabbit, If you can't say something nice don't say nothing at all.

Pick your battles

How often have you heard this advice about parenting? This is great advice for child-rearing and it's great advice to follow in your marriage as well. In any human relationship there will be disagreement and conflict. The key here is to decide which issues are worth pursuing and which are better off ignored. By doing this, you'll find much less negative energy between you.

From now on, anytime you feel annoyed, take a minute to examine the issue at hand, and ask yourself a few questions. How important is this? Is this worth picking a fight over? What would be the benefit of choosing this battle versus letting it go?

The 60 second cuddle

You can often identify a newly married couple just by how much they touch each other, holding hands, sitting close, touching arms, kissing; just as you can spot an oldly-married couple, by how little they touch. Mothers, in particular, often have less need for physical contact with their partners because their babies and young children provide so much opportunity for touch and cuddling that day's end finds them touched fulfilled.

So here's a simple reminder: make the effort to touch your spouse more often. A pat, a hug, a kiss, a shoulder massage, the good feeling it produces for both of you far outweighs the effort.

Here's the deal: Whenever you've been apart make it a rule that you will take just 60 seconds to cuddle, touch and connect. This can be addictive! If you follow this advice soon you'll find yourselves touching each other more often, and increasing the romantic aspect of your relationship.

Spend more time talking to and listening to your partner.

I don't mean, Remember to pick up Jimmy's soccer uniform. Or, I have a PTA meeting tonight. Rather, get into the habit of sharing your thoughts about what you read in the paper, what you watch on TV, your hopes, your dreams, your concerns. Take a special interest in those things that your spouse is interested in and ask questions. And then listen to the answers.

Spend time with your spouse

It can be very difficult for your marriage to thrive if you spend all your time being Mommy and Daddy. You need to spend regular time as Husband and Wife. This doesn't mean you have to take a two-week vacation in Hawaii. (Although that might be nice, too!) Just take small daily snippets of time when you can enjoy uninterrupted conversation, or even just quiet companionship, without a baby on your hip, a child tugging your shirtsleeve or a teenager begging for the car keys. A daily morning walk around the block or a shared cup of tea after all the children are in bed might work wonders to re-connect you to each other. And yes, it?s quite fine to talk about your children when you're spending your time together, because, after all, your children are one of the most important connections you have in your relationship.

When you and your spouse regularly connect in a way that nurtures your relationship, you may find a renewed love between you, as well as a refreshed vigor that will allow you to be a better, more loving parent. You owe it to yourself and to your kids to nurture your relationship.

So take my challenge and use these ideas for the next 30 days. And watch your marriage take on a whole new glow.

Parts of this article are excerpted with permission from books by Elizabeth Pantley:

Kid Cooperation: How to Stop Yelling, Nagging and Pleading Hidden Messages: What Our Words and Actions are Really Telling Our Children


Stop the Diaper Changing Battles

Babies are little bundles of energy! They don't want to lie still to have their diapers changed. They cry, fuss, or even crawl away. A simple issue can turn into a major tug-of-war between parent and baby.

Diaper changing as a ritual

The position of parent and baby during a diaper change is perfect for creating a bonding experience between you. You are leaning over your baby, and your face is at the perfect arms-length distance for engaging eye contact and communication. What's more, this golden opportunity presents itself many times during each day; no matter how busy you both get, you have a few moments of quiet connection. It's too valuable a ritual to treat it as simply maintenance.

Learning about your baby

Diapering offers a perfect opportunity for you to truly absorb your baby's cues and signals. You'll learn how his little body works, what tickles him, what causes those tiny goose bumps. As you lift, move, and touch your baby, your hands will learn the map of his body and what's normal for him. This is important because it will enable you to easily decipher any physical changes that need attention.

Developing trust

Regular diaper changes create rhythm in your baby's world and afford the sense that the world is safe and dependable. They are regular and consistent episodes in days that may not always be predictable. Your loving touches teach your baby that he is valued, and your gentle care teaches him that he is respected.

A learning experience for your baby

Your baby does a lot of learning during diaper changes. It's one of the few times that she actually sees her own body without clothes, when she can feel her complete movements without a wad of diaper between her legs. Diaper-off time is a great chance for her to stretch her limbs and learn how they move.

During changing time, your baby is also a captive audience to your voice, so she can focus on what you are saying and how you are saying it, an important component of her language learning process. Likewise, for a precious few minutes, you are her captive audience, so you can focus on what she's saying and how she is saying it; crucial to the growth of your relationship.

What your baby thinks and feels

Many active babies could not care less if their diapers are clean. They're too busy to concern themselves with such trivial issues. It may be important to you, but it's not a priority for your child.

Diaper rash or uncomfortable diapers (wrong size or bad fit) can make him dread diaper changes, so check these first. Once you're sure all the practical issues are covered, make a few adjustments in this unavoidable process to make it more enjoyable.

Take a deep breath

Given the number of diapers you have to change, it's possible that what used to be a pleasant experience for you has gotten to be routine, or even worse, a hassle. When parents approach diaper changing in a brisk, no-nonsense way, it isn't any fun for Baby. Try to reconnect with the bonding experience that diaper changing can be -- a moment of calm in a busy day when you share one-on-one time with your baby.

Have some fun

This is a great time to sing songs, blow tummy raspberries, or do some tickle and play. A little fun might take the dread out of diaper changes for both of you. A game that stays fresh for a long time is, hide the diaper. Put a new diaper on your head, on your shoulder, or tucked in your shirt and ask, Where's the diaper? I can't find it! A fun twist is to give the diaper a name and a silly voice, and use it as a puppet. Let the diaper call your child to the changing station and have it talk to him as you change it. (If you get tired of making Mister Diaper talk, just remember what it was like before you tried the idea.)

Use distraction

Keep a flashlight with your changing supplies and let your baby play with it while you change him. Some kids? flashlights have a button to change the color of the light, or shape of the ray. Call this his diaper flashlight and put it away when the change is complete. You may find a different type of special toy that appeals to your little one, or even a basket of small interesting toys. If you reserve these only for diaper time, they can retain their novelty for a long time.

Try a stand-up diaper

If your baby's diaper is just wet (not messy), try letting her stand up while you do a quick change. If you're using cloth diapers, have one leg pre-pinned so that you can slide it on like pants, or opt for pre-fitted diapers that don't require pins.

Time to potty train

If your child is old enough and seems ready for the next step, consider potty training.

This article is an excerpt from Gentle Baby Care by Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

The Other Side of the Glass

This film is about the powerlessness and trauma that fathers experience when they can't protect their partners and babies from the violation and abuse that some face during a hospital birth.

Thank you Janel for sharing this film.

View film

Sep 10, 2008

The Golden Notebook

"You are in the process of being indoctrinated. We have not yet evolved a system of education that is not a system of indoctrination. We are sorry, but it is the best we can do. What you are being taught here is an amalgam of current prejudice and the choices of this particular culture.

The slightest look at history will show how impermanent these must be. You are being taught by people who have been able to accommodate themselves to a regime of thought laid down by their predecessors.

It is a self-perpetuating system. Those of you who are more robust and individual than others, will be encouraged to leave and find ways of educating yourself-educating your own judgement. Those that stay must remember, always and all the time, that they are being moulded and patterned to fit into the narrow and particular needs of this society."

-- Doris Lessing, "The Golden Notebook"

Dr. Phil Soliciting Home Birth Horror Stories

Dr. Phil's website is soliciting home-birth horror
stories-- get happy clients to inundate it with satisfied home-birthers, or
go to the site yourself and give your feedback. If we don't respond, he will
do a show that slams women's right to birth at home and our sound judgment
to make such choices..... ....

Dr. Phil has a form on his website where you can submit your "home-birth
horror story".

Many of us are instead using this form to a) tell our horrible hospital
stories, b) tell our great home-birth stories, or c) just plain let Dr. Phil
and his staff how bad we think this show concept is.

My hope is that, if enough people raise a stink, the show will drop the
idea. If you or anyone you know wants to join in the barrage, you
can find the form here:

Do you regret having a home birth?
http://www.drphil. com/plugger/ respond/? plugID=12524


Pregnant? Wondering If You Should Home Birth?
http://www.drphil. com/plugger/ respond/? plugID=12479


Did You Have A Traumatic Birthing Experience?
http://www.drphil. com/plugger/ respond/? plugID=12538

Sep 9, 2008

Bill C-51

This is a Bill that will wreak havoc on every type of holistic, homeopathic, natural, energetic, and non government sanctioned method of care, illness prevention, or cures.

This bill is a flagrant misuse and abuse from the governmental super-structure. Many of you with small business's that have spent your lives dedicated to these natural home remedies, will be not allowed to practice the methods that have been passed along for generations.

Interestingly-the government has given you tax breaks, and offers programs to open small business's in this field- yet now they are destroying the field itself. Over the last 3 years-some hospitals have opened up mindfulness clinics and have even used non-evasive homeopathic remedies as cures. Hypocrisy at its finest.

Learn more

Sep 8, 2008

The Midwife On A Mission

CBC Evening News: Can A Simple, Caring Approach Reverse The High U.S Infant Mortality Rate?

An 81 year-old grandmother runs one of the most successful birthing clinics in the nation in the city with the worst infant mortality rate.

Sep 4, 2008

With Child

Let us be your guide and resource to the wonderful and exciting world of parenthood! On our site we feature the most popular and helpful products used by our customers. We hope that this will save you time and help answer some of your questions. However, for those times - and there are many- when you aren't sure of what you need, where to go or what to do, just give us a call. We are here for you!

Bassinet Recall

Two Infants Die Due to Strangulation While Using Simplicity Close Sleeper Bassinets

Back to school

Tips for Students, Parents and Teachers.
Get the house, the classroom and the kids ready for the new school year with shopping tips, recipe ideas, homework help and much more!